Hi to all...this is Kate.
I went to see Mama and Papa today...and ended up calling for reinforcements from Margaret...bless you Margaret!!!
I began my visit by going to see Papa...which is what I usually do. His hearing aid wasn't working at all...I changed the battery and finally got it working after several attempts...He is down to one battery left on his night stand...who buys those? He will definitely need some more. The hospice nurse, Denise came while I was there, she had just seen Mama. She took Papa's vitals...and said things were good today. Papa was sitting up in the chair and she thought this was good. She said he is usually in bed when she comes. They said Mama had been sorting her socks and was very upset that one had a hole in it! We talked about how Mama always liked to have a project...and I told them how she used to sew...and especially how I used to love to watch her make quilts. Margaret and I used to get to help tie the knots on the little tassles. We also discussed the picture of the kids that is hanging in Papa's room...I pointed out all the kids and their names...Denise was happy to hear all of this.
Denise left and I visited with Papa...I showed him a couple of Megan's prom pictures...and talked to him about the girls. He was very talkative but also very confused...he was saying non-sensical things...but was animated. As I was getting ready to leave to see Mama...Papa said, "If I don't get to see your Mother....tell her...that I am thinking about her, and I love her." (This took a long time for him to say...but it choked me up so much that I had to ask, "Papa, do you want to go see Mama right now?" He looked at me for a few seconds and then said "YES!" with urgency I hadn't heard him use in a long time. So then I had to figure out how to make this work...I was supposed to pick up my babysitting kids in a half hour and they were twenty minutes away.
Of course....I could call my big sister Margaret...she would help! Three phone calls later, I tracked her down and asked her to meet me at Mama's so she could bring Papa back when he was done visiting. Then I called the pre-school to tell them I was going to be about twenty minutes late. Then we got Papa looking all handsome, brushed his hair...spiffed him up a bit...and off we went in the wheelchair. (Okay get your tissues now...)
When we got over to Mama's she was coming down the hall towards her room with an aide...She reached her hands out to Papa, and he did the same. She said "I missed you sooooo much!" He said he missed her too. He asked to stand up, and I held him up next to her...they hugged, and kissed. They both had tears rolling down their faces...I, of course was sobbing. (Good thing you weren't with me Fran...we would have been two basket cases) So there I was holding both of them together so they could hug. Papa quickly had to sit back down...and we went in Mama's room. Mama told him that she loved him so much...He couldn't hear her, so I had to repeat it for him...and then his words back...were all garbled. But he told me to tell her that he loved her "so big much". They seem to need a translator...and I think part of why Papa doesn't go anymore is...just like all of us find it so hard to go alone...so does he. The driver takes him and drops him off...Papa really needs one of us to go with him, both physically and emotionally. It was all such a tender sweet visit...it is a memory that I will never forget. Mama and Papa held hands in her room and kept patting each other. They kissed a few times, and hugged. Mama was having a lucid day, and was able to ask questions. She wanted to know when she could leave, and if Papa was still living at the house. She asked about her wedding ring...I told her that I had it and I was keeping it safe for her. She was relieved.
Margaret got there after I visited with Mama and Papa for a little bit. She was going to stay with them for a bit longer and then take Papa back for lunch. Again...thank Margaret for helping to make this happen. I couldn't have done it other wise. And it was such a huge gift for Papa and for Mama. He told me thank you so much as I was leaving, he had tears in eyes. I wish I could explain it all better...it was AMAZING. Words are not enough. He did say that he was delighted to have been able to come. That's a new word for him...not wonderful, or okay, or fine, but delighted. It was nice :)
I talked to Margaret briefly after I got home...she was getting Papa settled in his room...he was going to eat lunch in his room and take a nap. She said it all ended very sweetly...I'll let her share her version...Can't wait to hear all about it. No real medical news. Just the emotional stuff. It was a good day. I did tell Papa that I was praying that he and Mama would find each other in heaven soon, and that they would be happy and healthy and young! He looked at me and said, "Yes, that will be wonderful!" I'm going to keep praying...
Love to all you.
Kate
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sorry missed breakfast...
Note from Tish: Yes, I'm sorry I missed visiting with all of you. Talked to Kate on Saturday and discovered that a group of the "Cabrera" gang was meeting up for breakfast. How great. Sorry I missed you all. Don and I were out of town till late Sunday afternoon.
Wanted to pass some news along to you. Heard from the Forum on Saturday night. Mama apparently wandered from her room and lost her balance. They found her lying on the floor. She did not hurt herself...just had a couple of red marks on her back. She probably fell because of the blood pressure problem she is having. Hopefully, that will be corrected with the new medication.
Anyway, just wanted to share that w/ everyone in case you are visiting and you notice any bruises.
Hope everyone is well, and hope your visit to the big C was enjoyable, Fran.
Love, T.
Wanted to pass some news along to you. Heard from the Forum on Saturday night. Mama apparently wandered from her room and lost her balance. They found her lying on the floor. She did not hurt herself...just had a couple of red marks on her back. She probably fell because of the blood pressure problem she is having. Hopefully, that will be corrected with the new medication.
Anyway, just wanted to share that w/ everyone in case you are visiting and you notice any bruises.
Hope everyone is well, and hope your visit to the big C was enjoyable, Fran.
Love, T.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Saturday Breakfast
Hi this is Kate...
It appears nobody wants to be the chooser of restaurants...so I will.
How about Saturday 9am at First Watch, Mill Run? 3800 Fishinger Blvd. Cols. Oh 43026.
They do not take reservations...so Mary and Fran can you get there about 8:40 to put our name in?
Margaret, can you call Lita and John to invite? I will call Michael (he said he would try to make it)...and Paul...this is westside..so he might be able to come.
Any adults welcome...
Right now, I am guessing 10.
I'll see whoever can make it!
Kate
It appears nobody wants to be the chooser of restaurants...so I will.
How about Saturday 9am at First Watch, Mill Run? 3800 Fishinger Blvd. Cols. Oh 43026.
They do not take reservations...so Mary and Fran can you get there about 8:40 to put our name in?
Margaret, can you call Lita and John to invite? I will call Michael (he said he would try to make it)...and Paul...this is westside..so he might be able to come.
Any adults welcome...
Right now, I am guessing 10.
I'll see whoever can make it!
Kate
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday's visits
Hi to all...this is Kate.
I went and saw Mom and Pops today during my babysitting kiddos pre-school hours. I only had an hour after I got my banking, grocery, gas errands done. But it was a good hour.
I saw Papa first. He looked good (relatively speaking). He was sitting up in his chair sleeping. He smiled when he saw me...and I could tell he was grasping for my name...before I could say...Hi Papa it's Kate...(what I usually say to him)....he asked me how was Rich? He's so sweet...I just said that everybody was good. and he smiled. He drank an Ensure for me (He doesn't care too much for the Glucerna...so I say give him the Ensure.) He did not look swollen, but his face was puffy. His hands looked good. Overall he looked good...just very weak. He tried to talk, but really couldn't put his words together...he did repeat things that I said. Mostly he closed his eyes while I held his hand. He smiled when I told him that John and Amber's baby was born...Hugo Alfredo Cabrera. I'm sure he had been told before, but of course he said..."Wonderful" like he was hearing it for the first time. I told him I was sure this Hugo Cabrera would be a real trouble maker also...and he laughed.
I asked if Papa made the trip to see Mama this week (they ask him on Mondays if he wants to go) They said no...he did not want to go. I told him that I would tell Mama he loved her and he said "Wonderful". Then he went back to dozing in his chair.
When I left...I did tell him, "Adios, don't get lost" which is what Margaret and I always used to say him when he left for work...He repeated, "don't get lost" and smiled.
Then on to see Mama. The podiatrist arrived just ahead of me. I was glad I was there...Mama was sitting in a rocking chair in the hallway right next to her room...there was an aide helping her. She of course was screaming like they were killing her. I got on the floor and held her while he was there...it was just a few minutes. I was able to calm her down...but she was twisting my arms and really hollering...and then when he said he was all done...her eyes got really big and she said "thank you" like he had just given her a gift. It was amazing to see the range of emotions all in twenty seconds. How exhausting/frightening/overwhelming that must be for her.
When he was done, I walked her back to her room, and she laid down. I got her a drink...and sat by her bed. She quickly went into a sleep after grabbing for me frantically and saying...please, please. The aide told me that Mama had had a good morning...eating well, and even sitting out in the main area until the doctor came to see her. When I told Mama that Papa said to say he loved her...her eyes got really big...she smiled and said, Thank you. It connected with her probably more than anything else I said.
That is about all the news on Mama and Papa. My girls are counting the days down for summer. I am counting my days down to be done babysitting...this is my last year of watching kids in my home...I will join Margaret in job searching this summer. I'm sure I'll keep you all posted on anything exciting in that regard.
Lita has been settling into her new place...I hear she met a neighbor yesterday that spent several hours at Lita's house helping her with things and telling Lit all about her fascinating life. She also received a flowering plant and a note from the Welcome Ladies in the neighborhood. They invited her to their monthly ladies luncheon. May's lunch is at Windchimes...Lita RSVP'D yes she would attend...so she is managing to meet some new folks...I'm happy for her. I managed to finally find a new dog walker (the old one wouldn't come to this area). Critter Sitters began this week, and so far, it has worked out very well. Josie loves her mid day walks and this relieves Lita of the stress worrying about Josie especially the days that Bob is out on the road all day.
It was good to visit with Paul this weekend when he came in to see Mom and Pops. Life is about the same for him...working for a livin". His plans to open his own business seem to have hit a rocky patch. He's still hopeful...but searching for some different funding opportunities. Mariah and Jacob are doing well...and Mariah is working hard on Paul to get a dog. They begun research for one that doesn't shed, doesn't bark, doesn't poop much, and doesn't eat much. I'm thinking they might not be getting a dog anytime soon? He had to cancel his plans to join us at the Ranch this year...just wasn't in the budget. Bummer.
Megan has a volleyball tournament this weekend...it is here in Columbus, downtown at the convention center...so if you all decide where and when you are meeting for breakfast let me know...I will do my best to come. If anyone is downtown on Sunday and wants to try to catch some of Megan's v-ball...call my cell phone 783-7717...she plays on and off from about 9am-7pm...I never know the exact schedule until that day when we arrive at tourney site. I do not plan on seeing Mama and Papa this weekend...I think sometimes it can be overwhelming for them. I do plan on going Tuesday morning. So anyone that does go...please feel free to write an update...I love reading everyone's comments. Jenny I'm glad to hear that your visit with Drake went well.
Fran I told both Mama and Papa that you were coming...they both seemed happy.
Love to all.
Kate
I went and saw Mom and Pops today during my babysitting kiddos pre-school hours. I only had an hour after I got my banking, grocery, gas errands done. But it was a good hour.
I saw Papa first. He looked good (relatively speaking). He was sitting up in his chair sleeping. He smiled when he saw me...and I could tell he was grasping for my name...before I could say...Hi Papa it's Kate...(what I usually say to him)....he asked me how was Rich? He's so sweet...I just said that everybody was good. and he smiled. He drank an Ensure for me (He doesn't care too much for the Glucerna...so I say give him the Ensure.) He did not look swollen, but his face was puffy. His hands looked good. Overall he looked good...just very weak. He tried to talk, but really couldn't put his words together...he did repeat things that I said. Mostly he closed his eyes while I held his hand. He smiled when I told him that John and Amber's baby was born...Hugo Alfredo Cabrera. I'm sure he had been told before, but of course he said..."Wonderful" like he was hearing it for the first time. I told him I was sure this Hugo Cabrera would be a real trouble maker also...and he laughed.
I asked if Papa made the trip to see Mama this week (they ask him on Mondays if he wants to go) They said no...he did not want to go. I told him that I would tell Mama he loved her and he said "Wonderful". Then he went back to dozing in his chair.
When I left...I did tell him, "Adios, don't get lost" which is what Margaret and I always used to say him when he left for work...He repeated, "don't get lost" and smiled.
Then on to see Mama. The podiatrist arrived just ahead of me. I was glad I was there...Mama was sitting in a rocking chair in the hallway right next to her room...there was an aide helping her. She of course was screaming like they were killing her. I got on the floor and held her while he was there...it was just a few minutes. I was able to calm her down...but she was twisting my arms and really hollering...and then when he said he was all done...her eyes got really big and she said "thank you" like he had just given her a gift. It was amazing to see the range of emotions all in twenty seconds. How exhausting/frightening/overwhelming that must be for her.
When he was done, I walked her back to her room, and she laid down. I got her a drink...and sat by her bed. She quickly went into a sleep after grabbing for me frantically and saying...please, please. The aide told me that Mama had had a good morning...eating well, and even sitting out in the main area until the doctor came to see her. When I told Mama that Papa said to say he loved her...her eyes got really big...she smiled and said, Thank you. It connected with her probably more than anything else I said.
That is about all the news on Mama and Papa. My girls are counting the days down for summer. I am counting my days down to be done babysitting...this is my last year of watching kids in my home...I will join Margaret in job searching this summer. I'm sure I'll keep you all posted on anything exciting in that regard.
Lita has been settling into her new place...I hear she met a neighbor yesterday that spent several hours at Lita's house helping her with things and telling Lit all about her fascinating life. She also received a flowering plant and a note from the Welcome Ladies in the neighborhood. They invited her to their monthly ladies luncheon. May's lunch is at Windchimes...Lita RSVP'D yes she would attend...so she is managing to meet some new folks...I'm happy for her. I managed to finally find a new dog walker (the old one wouldn't come to this area). Critter Sitters began this week, and so far, it has worked out very well. Josie loves her mid day walks and this relieves Lita of the stress worrying about Josie especially the days that Bob is out on the road all day.
It was good to visit with Paul this weekend when he came in to see Mom and Pops. Life is about the same for him...working for a livin". His plans to open his own business seem to have hit a rocky patch. He's still hopeful...but searching for some different funding opportunities. Mariah and Jacob are doing well...and Mariah is working hard on Paul to get a dog. They begun research for one that doesn't shed, doesn't bark, doesn't poop much, and doesn't eat much. I'm thinking they might not be getting a dog anytime soon? He had to cancel his plans to join us at the Ranch this year...just wasn't in the budget. Bummer.
Megan has a volleyball tournament this weekend...it is here in Columbus, downtown at the convention center...so if you all decide where and when you are meeting for breakfast let me know...I will do my best to come. If anyone is downtown on Sunday and wants to try to catch some of Megan's v-ball...call my cell phone 783-7717...she plays on and off from about 9am-7pm...I never know the exact schedule until that day when we arrive at tourney site. I do not plan on seeing Mama and Papa this weekend...I think sometimes it can be overwhelming for them. I do plan on going Tuesday morning. So anyone that does go...please feel free to write an update...I love reading everyone's comments. Jenny I'm glad to hear that your visit with Drake went well.
Fran I told both Mama and Papa that you were coming...they both seemed happy.
Love to all.
Kate
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
More on Hospice for Mama
Hi from Tish. Just talked to Lou Basso, minister for Harbor Light Hospice. He saw Mama today and said she was very sweet. He asked a lot of questions about Mama. Mostly wanted to know what her religious beliefs are, where M&P went to church, how devout she is, and also wanted to know if she would enjoy it if he sang to her. I told him to definitely sing songs...I think Mama would love that (Lou is going to take his guitar or mandolin with him the next time). Anyway, I gave him as much information as I could and he may be contacting Kate (Kate, he knows you are primary contact for hospice-related things so he wants to keep you informed). Lou is now going over to see Papa. I told him Papa would enjoy the same things as Mama from a spiritual standpoint.
Kate, regarding medical intervention, my thought is to keep them on those meds that they need to make them comfortable and painless in their final days. Naturally,I am only speaking for myself.
Kate, thanks for the detailed update.
Love, Tish
Kate, regarding medical intervention, my thought is to keep them on those meds that they need to make them comfortable and painless in their final days. Naturally,I am only speaking for myself.
Kate, thanks for the detailed update.
Love, Tish
Hospice Nurse Dawn update
Hi to all...this is Kate.
Thanks Tish for the update on Baby Hugo. I love saying that. So glad that all is going well for Amber and John and family. Happy news is a good thing.
I just got a hold of Dawn A. from Harbor Lights. My messages were going into a voicemail black hole...but finally I got her cell phone number and was able to track her down.
Mama has qualified for hospice, and they received all paperwork...thanks to Tish for helping make that happen. So, hospice care will begin this week. Mama was extremely combative during the assessment and was screaming at Dawn to stop screaming. Dawn explained to Mama that she wasn't screaming and Mama began swatting at her. Dawn talked with the staff at length to get a better assessment of Mama. She said that Mama is still mobile (although I haven't seen much mobility when I visit) which means that Mama is not in End Stage Dementia yet...The staff also said that she is still able to feed herself...but that she forgets to eat so they have to encourage her. Dawn said hospice staff will help with that very much when they visit.
Dawn also said that the doctor has put Mama on Seraquil (sp?) to help with combativeness but that this takes 1-2 weeks before it gets in your system enough to really work. The staff told Dawn that Mama is extremely combative with them 90% of the time. I said that Mama was not as combative with us, although she was sometimes...that she did seem to respond to loving interactions in a much calmer way than she did with assertive interactions. Dawn said the hospice staff would definitely be able to be calmer and take more time with Mama just because it would be one on one time with her, while the Forum staff is trying to help all the other residents also. She acknowledged that it would take time for them to build a trust with Mama but she felt it would happen. I told her that we knew Mama could be a real pain in the ass (there's just no other way to say it)...but that she was also a wonderful mother who deserved to have moments of peace in all of this process. Dawn assured me they would help to give her that. Finally regarding Mama, Dawn did say that with her weight loss, and seeming lack of desire to eat, her decline would occur much more rapidly than it would otherwise.
Then I asked her about Papa. She said she had seen him on Friday, and that Denise would be the nurse out this week, and Dawn would see him again next week. She reviewed Dr. Harris' medicine changes and we discussed the Lasix change. She said that the Lasix was originally increased to get the edema under control, which she said they were all in agreement that it had. But increasing the Lasix also brings on kidney failure more rapidly...it is a diuretic. So more lasix...quicker kidneys shut down. Therefore the reason for decreasing lasix was to help the kidneys...and hopefully the edema will not come back immediately. If it does, it will be up to us and Dr. Harris if we increase Lasix again or say this is final kidney failure and stop.
I asked her about how she would manage his pain...because he would probably be on his deathbed saying he was "fine" or "okay". She said they watch for facial expressions, thrashing, gritting of teeth, and several other symptoms and will begin pain meds as they feel they are needed.
I told her about the fall and the gash in the arm...she did not know about that. Part of me really wants to do whatever we can to help Mama and Papa move on to heaven quicker. This process seems so horrible for them...and I just want them to find the peace that I know they will find in heaven. I think we all need to really assess how we feel about medical interventions for both Mama and Papa and be prepared to voice our thoughts to the doctors. I'm realizing that they won't necessarily come to us with the idea to stop any further medical interventions, we will probably need to go to them. Please share your thoughts.
Love,
Kate
Thanks Tish for the update on Baby Hugo. I love saying that. So glad that all is going well for Amber and John and family. Happy news is a good thing.
I just got a hold of Dawn A. from Harbor Lights. My messages were going into a voicemail black hole...but finally I got her cell phone number and was able to track her down.
Mama has qualified for hospice, and they received all paperwork...thanks to Tish for helping make that happen. So, hospice care will begin this week. Mama was extremely combative during the assessment and was screaming at Dawn to stop screaming. Dawn explained to Mama that she wasn't screaming and Mama began swatting at her. Dawn talked with the staff at length to get a better assessment of Mama. She said that Mama is still mobile (although I haven't seen much mobility when I visit) which means that Mama is not in End Stage Dementia yet...The staff also said that she is still able to feed herself...but that she forgets to eat so they have to encourage her. Dawn said hospice staff will help with that very much when they visit.
Dawn also said that the doctor has put Mama on Seraquil (sp?) to help with combativeness but that this takes 1-2 weeks before it gets in your system enough to really work. The staff told Dawn that Mama is extremely combative with them 90% of the time. I said that Mama was not as combative with us, although she was sometimes...that she did seem to respond to loving interactions in a much calmer way than she did with assertive interactions. Dawn said the hospice staff would definitely be able to be calmer and take more time with Mama just because it would be one on one time with her, while the Forum staff is trying to help all the other residents also. She acknowledged that it would take time for them to build a trust with Mama but she felt it would happen. I told her that we knew Mama could be a real pain in the ass (there's just no other way to say it)...but that she was also a wonderful mother who deserved to have moments of peace in all of this process. Dawn assured me they would help to give her that. Finally regarding Mama, Dawn did say that with her weight loss, and seeming lack of desire to eat, her decline would occur much more rapidly than it would otherwise.
Then I asked her about Papa. She said she had seen him on Friday, and that Denise would be the nurse out this week, and Dawn would see him again next week. She reviewed Dr. Harris' medicine changes and we discussed the Lasix change. She said that the Lasix was originally increased to get the edema under control, which she said they were all in agreement that it had. But increasing the Lasix also brings on kidney failure more rapidly...it is a diuretic. So more lasix...quicker kidneys shut down. Therefore the reason for decreasing lasix was to help the kidneys...and hopefully the edema will not come back immediately. If it does, it will be up to us and Dr. Harris if we increase Lasix again or say this is final kidney failure and stop.
I asked her about how she would manage his pain...because he would probably be on his deathbed saying he was "fine" or "okay". She said they watch for facial expressions, thrashing, gritting of teeth, and several other symptoms and will begin pain meds as they feel they are needed.
I told her about the fall and the gash in the arm...she did not know about that. Part of me really wants to do whatever we can to help Mama and Papa move on to heaven quicker. This process seems so horrible for them...and I just want them to find the peace that I know they will find in heaven. I think we all need to really assess how we feel about medical interventions for both Mama and Papa and be prepared to voice our thoughts to the doctors. I'm realizing that they won't necessarily come to us with the idea to stop any further medical interventions, we will probably need to go to them. Please share your thoughts.
Love,
Kate
Arrival Was Pretty Easy
Yes, according to John, the arrival was relatively easy. Amber was only in labor for a few short hours before she delivered Hugo Alfredo. The midwife told Amber she was made to have babies...oh boy! John also indicated that Amber was probably only about 1 week overdue, not 2 weeks. Anyway, it sounded like both mama and baby were doing great. Marco is trying to get used to Amber's attention now being divided between big brother and little brother.
Regarding the podiatrist visit, Rich has found a network podiatrist who will visit Mama and Papa at the Forum. So that is taken care of.
Kate let us know as soon as you hear how the Hospice assessment went for Mama.
Talk to you all soon. Love, Tish
Regarding the podiatrist visit, Rich has found a network podiatrist who will visit Mama and Papa at the Forum. So that is taken care of.
Kate let us know as soon as you hear how the Hospice assessment went for Mama.
Talk to you all soon. Love, Tish
Monday, May 12, 2008
Baby Hugo has arrived!
Hi to all, this is Kate.
I just talked to Lit, who was talking to John, so she cut me off pretty quickly. But, the baby has arrived, safe and sound. All I know so far is he is healthy, and he is named Hugo. I will write more as I find out more.
Yeah! Happy News!
Paul, Margaret and I visited Mama and Papa yesterday afternoon. Mary and Liti visited in the morning. It was a visit similar to the last several. Papa tried to concentrate...but it was a struggle. He sat up for our visit. Mama was in bed...and was saying more words than she has in a long time. She was very happy to see Paul. She was very overwhelmed with emotion and ranged from smiling, to crying, to being scared. Like I said...it was all status quo. I am waiting on a phone call from hospice...I have a message in to see how the evaluation went, and any updates on Papa.
That's all for now.
Love,
Kate
I just talked to Lit, who was talking to John, so she cut me off pretty quickly. But, the baby has arrived, safe and sound. All I know so far is he is healthy, and he is named Hugo. I will write more as I find out more.
Yeah! Happy News!
Paul, Margaret and I visited Mama and Papa yesterday afternoon. Mary and Liti visited in the morning. It was a visit similar to the last several. Papa tried to concentrate...but it was a struggle. He sat up for our visit. Mama was in bed...and was saying more words than she has in a long time. She was very happy to see Paul. She was very overwhelmed with emotion and ranged from smiling, to crying, to being scared. Like I said...it was all status quo. I am waiting on a phone call from hospice...I have a message in to see how the evaluation went, and any updates on Papa.
That's all for now.
Love,
Kate
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Lita and Kate's visit
Hi to all...this is Kate.
I took the day from babysitting today; Lita and I went to spend the day with Mama and Papa, and we got to squeeze a lunch in between too. It was so nice to not be rushed with our visits. We started with Papa. He was very tired and really just wanted to sleep while we were there, so we just sat and quietly talked while he snoozed. He does sit up quickly when he feels the need to use the restroom (which is often...I've been told this is a result of the Lasix.) He has been told by all of the staff to push the button to get help going to the rest room, but he doesn't. When I was there, I pushed the button for him, but he didn't want to wait, or didn't feel able to wait...not sure which one. Anyway, Papa seemed happy to see us, but didn't really engage in our conversation at all. While there, Nancy pulled me aside to ask my thoughts on stopping some of Papa's "non-essential" meds. I said yes, it was time. After Dr. Harris' visit and consultation with Papa they stopped or lowered six meds. Including Vitamin E, Lipitor, Folic Acid, Megace, Potassium. They are decreasing the Lasix.
After a period of time they will also look at stopping aspirin, beta blockers, and proamitine. Dr. Harris thought Papa looked good...he was mostly zoning in on the fact that his feet and ankles were not swollen like the last time. This was the young Dr. Harris...and he has not seen Papa in several weeks. So...his impression was that Papa was somewhat stable. Papa of course said he was "Fine" when Dr. Harris asked him. To me, Papa seemed to be more withdrawn and very confused. His face was puffy, especially the cheek area and around his eyes. The nurse aide told us Papa had not slept last night, that they had found him wandering the halls. When I asked Papa about this, he was confused. He did say "couldn't sleep". Nancy was going to ask Dr. Harris if we could have a standing order for a sleeping pill when he couldn't sleep. So that is my best update on Papa. Dr. Harris certainly did not indicate that he felt Papa was declining rapidly as I thought he would. I will talk with hospice tomorrow. Papa had jeans on, and could not get them buttoned...we ended up putting sweat pants on him. Margaret...any chance you can get more of these? The staff was sooo happy that we had some sweatpants. The one gal kept thanking me over and over, until I had to come clean and give Margaret credit for buying and delivering them. But they were very thankful for them.
Last note on Papa...there is a notebook in Papa's bedside stand. If you visit, jot a note down in it and read through it. It has notes from family members, Forum staff, and hospice staff. Little tidbits of info are very helpful.
Now for Mama update...They were cleaning her up from a bathroom incident when we got there. She seemed more aware of things than my last two visits...but still very disconnected. She was happy to see Lita and Lit enjoyed rubbing lotion on Mom's hands and arms. Mama did not speak while we were there, except to say...please, please. She was somewhat weepy, but overall very calm. I did pick up her wedding ring, and will keep in a safe place. Don't know who this goes to...Fran? But I will hang to it for now. The best news of the day was that Dr. Harris thought hospice for Mama was an excellent idea...and that it probably is overdue...I wish they would tell us these things without us asking. Anyway, hospice will do evaluation tomorrow on Mama. We will work with the same team that works with Papa.
This will be so wonderful to have someone out several times a week to help Mama. I am very happy about this.
Sandy said that Mama has lost 11 pounds in about six weeks, and just does not have the desire to eat. They do encourage her to eat each meal, and work with her directly to help her eat.
The priest from St. Tim's (Father John) came to visit Mama and Papa today thanks to Liti's phone call, and gave both of them the blessing of the sick. He said to call again if their condition worsens, and he will come right away and administer it again. He did not give them communion, but said they are both on the list to receive communion from the lay person that comes out periodically.
It was a very long day...but so glad to have unrushed, uninterrupted time with both Mama and Papa. And for that matter, it was really nice to have a whole day with Lita too. Lit and I were both drained by the end of the day...but I felt like we made a positive difference in Mama and Papa's day, and for that I was thankful.
Hospice will call me after Mama's evaluation and then I will ask them about Papa too. Will keep you all updated after that. I'm going to go lay on the couch now and have a beer!
Love to you all.
Kate
I took the day from babysitting today; Lita and I went to spend the day with Mama and Papa, and we got to squeeze a lunch in between too. It was so nice to not be rushed with our visits. We started with Papa. He was very tired and really just wanted to sleep while we were there, so we just sat and quietly talked while he snoozed. He does sit up quickly when he feels the need to use the restroom (which is often...I've been told this is a result of the Lasix.) He has been told by all of the staff to push the button to get help going to the rest room, but he doesn't. When I was there, I pushed the button for him, but he didn't want to wait, or didn't feel able to wait...not sure which one. Anyway, Papa seemed happy to see us, but didn't really engage in our conversation at all. While there, Nancy pulled me aside to ask my thoughts on stopping some of Papa's "non-essential" meds. I said yes, it was time. After Dr. Harris' visit and consultation with Papa they stopped or lowered six meds. Including Vitamin E, Lipitor, Folic Acid, Megace, Potassium. They are decreasing the Lasix.
After a period of time they will also look at stopping aspirin, beta blockers, and proamitine. Dr. Harris thought Papa looked good...he was mostly zoning in on the fact that his feet and ankles were not swollen like the last time. This was the young Dr. Harris...and he has not seen Papa in several weeks. So...his impression was that Papa was somewhat stable. Papa of course said he was "Fine" when Dr. Harris asked him. To me, Papa seemed to be more withdrawn and very confused. His face was puffy, especially the cheek area and around his eyes. The nurse aide told us Papa had not slept last night, that they had found him wandering the halls. When I asked Papa about this, he was confused. He did say "couldn't sleep". Nancy was going to ask Dr. Harris if we could have a standing order for a sleeping pill when he couldn't sleep. So that is my best update on Papa. Dr. Harris certainly did not indicate that he felt Papa was declining rapidly as I thought he would. I will talk with hospice tomorrow. Papa had jeans on, and could not get them buttoned...we ended up putting sweat pants on him. Margaret...any chance you can get more of these? The staff was sooo happy that we had some sweatpants. The one gal kept thanking me over and over, until I had to come clean and give Margaret credit for buying and delivering them. But they were very thankful for them.
Last note on Papa...there is a notebook in Papa's bedside stand. If you visit, jot a note down in it and read through it. It has notes from family members, Forum staff, and hospice staff. Little tidbits of info are very helpful.
Now for Mama update...They were cleaning her up from a bathroom incident when we got there. She seemed more aware of things than my last two visits...but still very disconnected. She was happy to see Lita and Lit enjoyed rubbing lotion on Mom's hands and arms. Mama did not speak while we were there, except to say...please, please. She was somewhat weepy, but overall very calm. I did pick up her wedding ring, and will keep in a safe place. Don't know who this goes to...Fran? But I will hang to it for now. The best news of the day was that Dr. Harris thought hospice for Mama was an excellent idea...and that it probably is overdue...I wish they would tell us these things without us asking. Anyway, hospice will do evaluation tomorrow on Mama. We will work with the same team that works with Papa.
This will be so wonderful to have someone out several times a week to help Mama. I am very happy about this.
Sandy said that Mama has lost 11 pounds in about six weeks, and just does not have the desire to eat. They do encourage her to eat each meal, and work with her directly to help her eat.
The priest from St. Tim's (Father John) came to visit Mama and Papa today thanks to Liti's phone call, and gave both of them the blessing of the sick. He said to call again if their condition worsens, and he will come right away and administer it again. He did not give them communion, but said they are both on the list to receive communion from the lay person that comes out periodically.
It was a very long day...but so glad to have unrushed, uninterrupted time with both Mama and Papa. And for that matter, it was really nice to have a whole day with Lita too. Lit and I were both drained by the end of the day...but I felt like we made a positive difference in Mama and Papa's day, and for that I was thankful.
Hospice will call me after Mama's evaluation and then I will ask them about Papa too. Will keep you all updated after that. I'm going to go lay on the couch now and have a beer!
Love to you all.
Kate
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Two more updates
Hi to all,
After talking with Margaret, Tish and Liti, and then reading Tish's updates...I called the Forum and spoke with Nancy (Director of Papa's facility) and Sandy (Director of Mama's facility). Here is the info.
Nancy said that she has noticed a substantial decline in Papa's health. She requested Dr. Harris to see Papa tomorrow because she wanted him to see how much Papa had declined in a week. She was hesitant to come out and say this...but I asked her point blank...Do you feel Papa is getting very close to death...and she said yes she did feel that. But of course she added that they can never be sure. I have not heard this from hospice...after my visit tomorrow and after hearing what Dr. Harris has to say, I will follow up with a phone call to hospice to get their input. I am taking Lita tomorrow and we will spend most of the morning with Papa and then we will spend the afternoon with Mama. I will find out Dr. Harris' opinion after he sees Papa tomorrow afternoon and will keep everyone posted.
Then I asked Sandy about Mama. I wanted to know her opinion of Mama's overall condition. I asked also what her thoughts were about us getting a hospice evaluation. She said she thought it was an excellent idea...that Mama has lost a substantial amount of weight (she did not say how much)...and that she may qualify on that fact alone. Regarding Mama and eating...I asked her is her lack of eating, lack of ability or a lack of desire? Sandy said they had a speech pathologist do an evaluation on Mama and the opinion was that Mama had not lost the ability to swallow...so this seems to be a lack of desire to eat. She then had a dietary consult...and they are recommending some changes in diet and especially supplements like Ensure. Sandy will discuss all of this with Dr. Harris tomorrow, as well as request the hospice evaluation. Mama will see him in the afternoon.
Sandy also told me that Mama does come out of her room to eat most of the time. That she almost always will eat cereal for breakfast...and then lunch and dinner not so much. She likes fruit and will eat that. She said Mama usually sits in the main room for a period of time after breakfast, but usually will not participate in any activities. She tends to spend the afternoons and evenings in her room, except mealtime.
I think that is all for now...Still waiting for some happy news from John and Amber.
Love,
Kate
After talking with Margaret, Tish and Liti, and then reading Tish's updates...I called the Forum and spoke with Nancy (Director of Papa's facility) and Sandy (Director of Mama's facility). Here is the info.
Nancy said that she has noticed a substantial decline in Papa's health. She requested Dr. Harris to see Papa tomorrow because she wanted him to see how much Papa had declined in a week. She was hesitant to come out and say this...but I asked her point blank...Do you feel Papa is getting very close to death...and she said yes she did feel that. But of course she added that they can never be sure. I have not heard this from hospice...after my visit tomorrow and after hearing what Dr. Harris has to say, I will follow up with a phone call to hospice to get their input. I am taking Lita tomorrow and we will spend most of the morning with Papa and then we will spend the afternoon with Mama. I will find out Dr. Harris' opinion after he sees Papa tomorrow afternoon and will keep everyone posted.
Then I asked Sandy about Mama. I wanted to know her opinion of Mama's overall condition. I asked also what her thoughts were about us getting a hospice evaluation. She said she thought it was an excellent idea...that Mama has lost a substantial amount of weight (she did not say how much)...and that she may qualify on that fact alone. Regarding Mama and eating...I asked her is her lack of eating, lack of ability or a lack of desire? Sandy said they had a speech pathologist do an evaluation on Mama and the opinion was that Mama had not lost the ability to swallow...so this seems to be a lack of desire to eat. She then had a dietary consult...and they are recommending some changes in diet and especially supplements like Ensure. Sandy will discuss all of this with Dr. Harris tomorrow, as well as request the hospice evaluation. Mama will see him in the afternoon.
Sandy also told me that Mama does come out of her room to eat most of the time. That she almost always will eat cereal for breakfast...and then lunch and dinner not so much. She likes fruit and will eat that. She said Mama usually sits in the main room for a period of time after breakfast, but usually will not participate in any activities. She tends to spend the afternoons and evenings in her room, except mealtime.
I think that is all for now...Still waiting for some happy news from John and Amber.
Love,
Kate
Postscript
Hi from Tish:
Just heard from Sandy @ Forum (1:32 p.m.). Sandy indicated that Dr. Harris did notice Mama's drooping eye/face last week when he checked her. Dr. Harris indicated that it was part of dementia and not stroke. If we want to have Dr. Harris visit again, we need to let Forum know.
Also, staff noticed that Mama kept taking her wedding ring off (I did notice she was fidgeting a lot w/ it yesterday), so they removed it and have it stored in the Med Cart. Kate, when you visit tomorrow, could you take it home and keep it at your house. Think it's better if one of us keeps it at our house.
That's all for now.
Love, T.
Just heard from Sandy @ Forum (1:32 p.m.). Sandy indicated that Dr. Harris did notice Mama's drooping eye/face last week when he checked her. Dr. Harris indicated that it was part of dementia and not stroke. If we want to have Dr. Harris visit again, we need to let Forum know.
Also, staff noticed that Mama kept taking her wedding ring off (I did notice she was fidgeting a lot w/ it yesterday), so they removed it and have it stored in the Med Cart. Kate, when you visit tomorrow, could you take it home and keep it at your house. Think it's better if one of us keeps it at our house.
That's all for now.
Love, T.
Hump Day...Update on M&P
Hi from Tish (12:47 p.m. 5/7/08)
Visited Mama & Papa yesterday. Michael had been to see both and Margaret was there (Margaret had taken fruit to Mama & helped her eat it). Papa's arm looked pretty torn apart. Forum had put a transparent bandage on it, so you could see how bad the rip was. Papa was tired, but he was hearing well so Margaret and I were able to talk to him. We talked a bit about Mama and I asked if Papa wanted to continue visiting her 3 x week. He indicated no, it was too much. I told the Forum they should only take him once a week and only if he is able to go. Margaret left a bunch of notes for Hospice in the notebook.
Mama is deterioriating. The left side of her face (particularly left eye) looks droopy. And now she is shaking her hands a bunch. I mentioned it to the nurse and asked her to make note in Mama's chart. The RN indicated this is part of the dementia stating that this was an indication that the motor-neurons were not working. Margaret, regarding the bruise, the nurse indicated she had no idea what may have caused bruise and that the bruising was not noted in chart. I asked that it be noted. Mama's speech abilities also seems to be deteriorating...I'm sure some of you have also noted this.
Oh well, sorry I don't have any good news. I'm waiting to hear the good news about John and Amber's baby. Love, T.
p.s. Mary, happy birthday.
Visited Mama & Papa yesterday. Michael had been to see both and Margaret was there (Margaret had taken fruit to Mama & helped her eat it). Papa's arm looked pretty torn apart. Forum had put a transparent bandage on it, so you could see how bad the rip was. Papa was tired, but he was hearing well so Margaret and I were able to talk to him. We talked a bit about Mama and I asked if Papa wanted to continue visiting her 3 x week. He indicated no, it was too much. I told the Forum they should only take him once a week and only if he is able to go. Margaret left a bunch of notes for Hospice in the notebook.
Mama is deterioriating. The left side of her face (particularly left eye) looks droopy. And now she is shaking her hands a bunch. I mentioned it to the nurse and asked her to make note in Mama's chart. The RN indicated this is part of the dementia stating that this was an indication that the motor-neurons were not working. Margaret, regarding the bruise, the nurse indicated she had no idea what may have caused bruise and that the bruising was not noted in chart. I asked that it be noted. Mama's speech abilities also seems to be deteriorating...I'm sure some of you have also noted this.
Oh well, sorry I don't have any good news. I'm waiting to hear the good news about John and Amber's baby. Love, T.
p.s. Mary, happy birthday.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Tuesday Postscript: Call from Forum Re Papa
Note from Tish (1:15 p.m.)
Just heard from Forum. Pops fell down trying to get to the bathroom. He did not really hurt himself except he has a skin tear on his arm. No broken bones. They reminded him to use the "help call" buzzer to ask for assistance but know that he will probably not remember to do that. I asked that someone check on him every hour to make sure he does not need to use restroom and to just do a check. Was told that hospice had just left less than 1/2 hour before Papa's fall, so they did not think they would need to check on Pops so soon after the hospice visit.
Just thought you should all know latest. Love, T.
Just heard from Forum. Pops fell down trying to get to the bathroom. He did not really hurt himself except he has a skin tear on his arm. No broken bones. They reminded him to use the "help call" buzzer to ask for assistance but know that he will probably not remember to do that. I asked that someone check on him every hour to make sure he does not need to use restroom and to just do a check. Was told that hospice had just left less than 1/2 hour before Papa's fall, so they did not think they would need to check on Pops so soon after the hospice visit.
Just thought you should all know latest. Love, T.
Days Fly By...Already Tuesday
Note from Tish (5/6/08)
Thanks for update Jen. Make sure you let us know where Drake's next address will be so that we can all send him cards/letters. Cannot believe Amber has not had that baby yet.
Kate, Mary and I spent all day w/ Lit & Bob at their new house helping them with final unpacking (Jason and his buddy and a friend of Bob's were also helping). Worked in the kitchen, bathroom, master bedroom, living room and dining room. We all got a lot done and had loads of fun at same time. It's just so good to see Lit and Bob moved to a new home that will help Lit live a little bit more idependently again. Hurray. Plus the condo and the area (almost overlooking Scioto River) is really very pretty to look at.
Lit has become quite the hotrodder in her electric wheelchair. No, truly, she is getting around pretty well in the chair.
Don't have much personal news to share. Same old (like Fran's recent entry).
Will be visiting Mama & Papa today. Taking some time off from work to spend time w/ both. Mags, I have a call in to nurse about bruises. She has yet to return my call.
Kate, we are still waiting to see Meg's prom pics.
Love to all, T.
Thanks for update Jen. Make sure you let us know where Drake's next address will be so that we can all send him cards/letters. Cannot believe Amber has not had that baby yet.
Kate, Mary and I spent all day w/ Lit & Bob at their new house helping them with final unpacking (Jason and his buddy and a friend of Bob's were also helping). Worked in the kitchen, bathroom, master bedroom, living room and dining room. We all got a lot done and had loads of fun at same time. It's just so good to see Lit and Bob moved to a new home that will help Lit live a little bit more idependently again. Hurray. Plus the condo and the area (almost overlooking Scioto River) is really very pretty to look at.
Lit has become quite the hotrodder in her electric wheelchair. No, truly, she is getting around pretty well in the chair.
Don't have much personal news to share. Same old (like Fran's recent entry).
Will be visiting Mama & Papa today. Taking some time off from work to spend time w/ both. Mags, I have a call in to nurse about bruises. She has yet to return my call.
Kate, we are still waiting to see Meg's prom pics.
Love to all, T.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Friday Update
Hi everyone - it's Margaret.
I saw both Mama and Papa today. Mama was not very good. She was on her bed crying and could only say, "Oh please, oh please." I asked her if she would like a drink and she managed to say, "Water." She had trouble using the straw and trouble swallowing; however, she did drink an entire glass of water. I was told that she had only eaten some fruit since she got up this morning; I wasn't successful in getting her to eat anything else. She seemed quite agitated and didn't really respond to me; I don't know if she recognized me as a family member or not. I asked about the bruising on her face and the huge bruise on her arm (these are old bruises and I suspect they happened last weekend), but the aides didn't know. Tish, did you ever get a chance to ask the nurse about the bruises?
I then went to see Papa. He was sleeping in his chair with the oxygen on. I brought him the two pairs of lightweight sweat pants that I got for him, but he was not able to try them on. I hung them on hangers and put them on the door handle of his closet so that he wouldn't forget about them tomorrow. His face looked swollen to me, but his hands and feet looked good. He had trouble speaking coherently. I noticed there was no water in the plastic bottle on his oxygen pump and checked with the nurse about that. I have written some notes in the notebook in Papa's bedside stand regarding the filling of this bottle with distilled water to help keep the oxygen moister so that Papa's nose doesn't get too dried out.
I reviewed the family news about Drake finishing his training, Liti and Bob's move, no birth yet for Amber and John (I spoke very briefly with Amber this morning, she is coping with her ongoing pregnancy so much better than I would), me getting more assistance, etc. He seemed happy to hear these things, but I am not sure how much he actually took in. It was nice having some cheerful stuff to talk about!
Papa is getting to the point where he isn't anxious to go see Mama. I think this is one of the letting go steps. It is quickly getting to be too much for him. He did not go today. I suggested that the staff call over to see how Mama is doing, before sending Papa over to see her. Even though he is only scheduled to visit three times a week now, it is horrible for him to make that physical effort only to have her either so doped she doesn't know he is there or to have her not recognize him.
I will be in Athens with Ken this weekend (back Sunday at noon); the boys will be here with their sitter, Danny. Mikey and Alex each have their first baseball games on Saturday.
That's my Friday update. Hope everyone has a pleasant and productive weekend!
Love from your favorite
Margaret
I saw both Mama and Papa today. Mama was not very good. She was on her bed crying and could only say, "Oh please, oh please." I asked her if she would like a drink and she managed to say, "Water." She had trouble using the straw and trouble swallowing; however, she did drink an entire glass of water. I was told that she had only eaten some fruit since she got up this morning; I wasn't successful in getting her to eat anything else. She seemed quite agitated and didn't really respond to me; I don't know if she recognized me as a family member or not. I asked about the bruising on her face and the huge bruise on her arm (these are old bruises and I suspect they happened last weekend), but the aides didn't know. Tish, did you ever get a chance to ask the nurse about the bruises?
I then went to see Papa. He was sleeping in his chair with the oxygen on. I brought him the two pairs of lightweight sweat pants that I got for him, but he was not able to try them on. I hung them on hangers and put them on the door handle of his closet so that he wouldn't forget about them tomorrow. His face looked swollen to me, but his hands and feet looked good. He had trouble speaking coherently. I noticed there was no water in the plastic bottle on his oxygen pump and checked with the nurse about that. I have written some notes in the notebook in Papa's bedside stand regarding the filling of this bottle with distilled water to help keep the oxygen moister so that Papa's nose doesn't get too dried out.
I reviewed the family news about Drake finishing his training, Liti and Bob's move, no birth yet for Amber and John (I spoke very briefly with Amber this morning, she is coping with her ongoing pregnancy so much better than I would), me getting more assistance, etc. He seemed happy to hear these things, but I am not sure how much he actually took in. It was nice having some cheerful stuff to talk about!
Papa is getting to the point where he isn't anxious to go see Mama. I think this is one of the letting go steps. It is quickly getting to be too much for him. He did not go today. I suggested that the staff call over to see how Mama is doing, before sending Papa over to see her. Even though he is only scheduled to visit three times a week now, it is horrible for him to make that physical effort only to have her either so doped she doesn't know he is there or to have her not recognize him.
I will be in Athens with Ken this weekend (back Sunday at noon); the boys will be here with their sitter, Danny. Mikey and Alex each have their first baseball games on Saturday.
That's my Friday update. Hope everyone has a pleasant and productive weekend!
Love from your favorite
Margaret
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Thursday update
Hi from Kate...
Dawn from Hospice called with an update on Papa. She did not see him today, but an aide, Katherine saw him...and called Dawn somewhat concerned that Papa's stomach was quite distended. Dawn was calling another nurse out to check Papa out, and said she would keep me posted. She said this is another step in Papa's kidney failure...indicating his stomach is filling with fluid. She asked if we could buy Papa some more sweat pants, as he won't be able to fit into his button up/zip up pants. I am planning on going shopping for them after my babysitting kids get picked up at 5pm tonight. I'll bring them over tonight or tomorrow.
I asked what we should expect next. Dawn said his hands, ankles and face would swell again as the edema becomes worse. She did not indicate any type of timeline and was very calm through the conversation.
Big sigh...that's all for now.
Love,
Kate
Dawn from Hospice called with an update on Papa. She did not see him today, but an aide, Katherine saw him...and called Dawn somewhat concerned that Papa's stomach was quite distended. Dawn was calling another nurse out to check Papa out, and said she would keep me posted. She said this is another step in Papa's kidney failure...indicating his stomach is filling with fluid. She asked if we could buy Papa some more sweat pants, as he won't be able to fit into his button up/zip up pants. I am planning on going shopping for them after my babysitting kids get picked up at 5pm tonight. I'll bring them over tonight or tomorrow.
I asked what we should expect next. Dawn said his hands, ankles and face would swell again as the edema becomes worse. She did not indicate any type of timeline and was very calm through the conversation.
Big sigh...that's all for now.
Love,
Kate
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