Lita and Kate's visit

Hi to all...this is Kate.

I took the day from babysitting today; Lita and I went to spend the day with Mama and Papa, and we got to squeeze a lunch in between too. It was so nice to not be rushed with our visits. We started with Papa. He was very tired and really just wanted to sleep while we were there, so we just sat and quietly talked while he snoozed. He does sit up quickly when he feels the need to use the restroom (which is often...I've been told this is a result of the Lasix.) He has been told by all of the staff to push the button to get help going to the rest room, but he doesn't. When I was there, I pushed the button for him, but he didn't want to wait, or didn't feel able to wait...not sure which one. Anyway, Papa seemed happy to see us, but didn't really engage in our conversation at all. While there, Nancy pulled me aside to ask my thoughts on stopping some of Papa's "non-essential" meds. I said yes, it was time. After Dr. Harris' visit and consultation with Papa they stopped or lowered six meds. Including Vitamin E, Lipitor, Folic Acid, Megace, Potassium. They are decreasing the Lasix.

After a period of time they will also look at stopping aspirin, beta blockers, and proamitine. Dr. Harris thought Papa looked good...he was mostly zoning in on the fact that his feet and ankles were not swollen like the last time. This was the young Dr. Harris...and he has not seen Papa in several weeks. So...his impression was that Papa was somewhat stable. Papa of course said he was "Fine" when Dr. Harris asked him. To me, Papa seemed to be more withdrawn and very confused. His face was puffy, especially the cheek area and around his eyes. The nurse aide told us Papa had not slept last night, that they had found him wandering the halls. When I asked Papa about this, he was confused. He did say "couldn't sleep". Nancy was going to ask Dr. Harris if we could have a standing order for a sleeping pill when he couldn't sleep. So that is my best update on Papa. Dr. Harris certainly did not indicate that he felt Papa was declining rapidly as I thought he would. I will talk with hospice tomorrow. Papa had jeans on, and could not get them buttoned...we ended up putting sweat pants on him. Margaret...any chance you can get more of these? The staff was sooo happy that we had some sweatpants. The one gal kept thanking me over and over, until I had to come clean and give Margaret credit for buying and delivering them. But they were very thankful for them.

Last note on Papa...there is a notebook in Papa's bedside stand. If you visit, jot a note down in it and read through it. It has notes from family members, Forum staff, and hospice staff. Little tidbits of info are very helpful.

Now for Mama update...They were cleaning her up from a bathroom incident when we got there. She seemed more aware of things than my last two visits...but still very disconnected. She was happy to see Lita and Lit enjoyed rubbing lotion on Mom's hands and arms. Mama did not speak while we were there, except to say...please, please. She was somewhat weepy, but overall very calm. I did pick up her wedding ring, and will keep in a safe place. Don't know who this goes to...Fran? But I will hang to it for now. The best news of the day was that Dr. Harris thought hospice for Mama was an excellent idea...and that it probably is overdue...I wish they would tell us these things without us asking. Anyway, hospice will do evaluation tomorrow on Mama. We will work with the same team that works with Papa.
This will be so wonderful to have someone out several times a week to help Mama. I am very happy about this.

Sandy said that Mama has lost 11 pounds in about six weeks, and just does not have the desire to eat. They do encourage her to eat each meal, and work with her directly to help her eat.

The priest from St. Tim's (Father John) came to visit Mama and Papa today thanks to Liti's phone call, and gave both of them the blessing of the sick. He said to call again if their condition worsens, and he will come right away and administer it again. He did not give them communion, but said they are both on the list to receive communion from the lay person that comes out periodically.

It was a very long day...but so glad to have unrushed, uninterrupted time with both Mama and Papa. And for that matter, it was really nice to have a whole day with Lita too. Lit and I were both drained by the end of the day...but I felt like we made a positive difference in Mama and Papa's day, and for that I was thankful.

Hospice will call me after Mama's evaluation and then I will ask them about Papa too. Will keep you all updated after that. I'm going to go lay on the couch now and have a beer!

Love to you all.

Kate