Saturday, Sunday and Monday

Hi to all,

I will try to keep this short, but informative. Fran came in Friday night and we saw Mama and Papa on Saturday. Papa was not well. The aide told us he had eaten very little for breakfast and no lunch. He drank an Ensure while we there and said it was "so good". (we try to keep these stocked in his little frig...whenever you go visit, offer him one.) Margaret, Tish, and I have been buying them when we see the need. Fran bought several more for him while she was here. He mostly sat in his chair or layed in his bed while we visited. He told us he tries to sit up in his chair because it helps him concentrate. He wants to lay down most of the time now...but he loses awareness of what is going on, when he is laying down. His face is puffy and he looks more like Tio now. He wanted to see Mama but said he was not able to go over to visit...he is just too worn out, even to go in a wheelchair. We asked him if he was up to us bringing Mama to him...He nodded an emphatic "YES".

We then went over to see Mama. She was extremely agitated, crying and saying that she wanted "out of this place". She was offering anything she could if we would help her get out...her furniture, lamps, even her clothes. We summoned the nurse to see if she had had her Adavan for anxiety. We didn't want to take her over to see Papa in such an agitated state. The nurse said she had already taken it, but that she would check to see if she could give her some more. Once Mama got more medicine she became calmer, but then when we suggested going to see Papa...Mama said she was too scared to leave, and began weeping. This was quickly followed by her falling into a deep sleep. We managed to calm her down, alright, but then we were unable to get her over to see Papa. Papa was disappointed when we told him she couldn't come, but quickly went back to sleeping and we told him we would try again the next day.

Then came Sunday...We decided to go over earlier in the day, and got over to see Papa about 9:30. He seemed slightly more alert. He said yes, he would like it if Mama came over, so we tried again. When we got over to see Mama, they said she had had a "difficult" morning and had refused to take most of her meds. They had tried to crush them up and mix them in chocolate. She had chocolate on her hands and pants from trying to fight with them. They had gotten her to take her Adavan and by the time we got there, she was weepy, but relatively calm. She said, yes she would like to go see Papa.

We got a wheelchair and wheeled her across the street, it was a beautiful day outside. When we got to Papa's room, they were both so happy to see each other. They reached their hands out to each other and held hands...both of them shaking the whole time. Mama knew who Papa was, and had an incredibly sweet reaction to him. She kissed his hands and told him she loved him. They kissed. They sat on the couch for a few minutes holding hands, and then Papa had to lie down. She got up out of her wheelchair, stroked his cheek and told him she loved him. When it was time to take Mama back, they kissed, clasped hands, and Mama said..."I love you honey" and Papa said, "I love you too sweetheart" Words cannot express the sweetness of this moment. I'm not sure that they will have another moment like it...with Mama being aware and sweet, and Papa being able to respond. They both needed it and I am so glad that they had this time.

Monday update was that Papa was again very weak when Margaret visted him. She only stayed for a few minutes. He was finishing his dessert from lunch (only a bite or two) and then he asked her to help him lie down. She said he told her to "Tell your mother I love her", as she told him she was going to visit Mama.

Mama had an extreme agitated day again. She took her cane and broke out a window, yelling for "Freedom, freedom". It is heart wrenching to see her in so much anguish, and yet I find it somehow helpful to see the humor in the fact that she is paying us all back for being such hellyuns as teenagers :) They calmed her down with medication and Margaret made it over shortly after the incident occured. The staff is still very hopeful that they can work with her medications to get the right combination to get her to a better place mentally. They told Margaret this just takes time. I plan on calling to check on her later this afternoon.

Tish posted a comment about Lita and Bob...hopefully you got a chance to read it. They found a condo that they put a bid on. Read Tish's comment for more info.

Lastly, we have decided to go ahead and have hospice do an assessment on Papa. They were hopeful to do this sometime Monday afternoon or this morning (Tuesday). They said after that the next step is to meet with any immediate family members that want to...to hear about the assessment and to hear what services hospice can provide both for family members and for Papa. Now....they may come back and say that Papa is not yet ready for hospice...this would shock me, but it may be what happens. Regardless, they can inform us what services will be provided once hospice does begin. All siblings are welcome to be present at this meeting, but it is no way a requirement. Just please know you are welcome. I have been trying to get a confirmation on appointment time. I tentatively have it set up for Thursday at 6pm at the Forum, where Papa lives. I will post later when I get a confirmation of time and exact place.

That is all for now. Please post any of your experiences...even if they don't have anything to do with Mama and Papa. All family news is appreciated.

Love,

Kate